My problem

This morning, as I am getting out of the shower, Silly Goose galumphs into the bathroom.

Me:  “What are you doing in here? Don’t I get any privacy around here, ever?”

Goose: “I need a tissue, mom, that’s your problem.”

 

Among other recent Goose-isms that I’d like to remember later, when he’s an adult:

“Granilla” = granola

Aidan-to-English Dictionary (contd.)

troll kemote = remote control

to nuse = to use

 

Leg Horns

Silly Goose: (lifting up my pant leg and examining my stubbly shin): Mommy, why do you have horns on your legs?

Me: Horns?

Silly Goose: Yes (pulling on a hair), these, horns?  We need to get them out and get you a Band-Aid… (thinking) lots of Band-Aids (turning to Husband, who is cracking up in the corner)  Daddy, Mommy has lots of horns.

Me:  Honey, those are not horns, those are hairs.

Husband (trying, failing to keep a straight face): Oh, no, Goose, those are definitely horns.  Mommy’s legs are very horny.

Only about 3 hours later, after the kid was asleep in bed, did it occur to me:  Thorns!

It’s About a Snake Here

Monday, July 9, 2012, 9:12 p.m.  Aidan’s been read his goodnight story, sang his goodnight song.  His light is still on, but it’s very, very quiet.  Assuming he’s fallen asleep, I go in to turn off the light.  Having opened the door, I see him sitting on his bed, wearing his paper crown, turning the pages of a book.  When he notices me peeking in, he looks at me and, suddenly seeming so grown up, asks “What?”  I nod silently.  He points to the picture on the open page: “It’s about a snake here.” I nod again.  He nods back and, satisfied, goes back to turning the pages, as I quietly close the door behind me.

Seems silly to be charmed by such things, but this will make me smile for days.

Values I Would Like to Instill in Our Silly Goose

Be kind and respectful of others.

Cultivate passions (instead of watching TV).

Try things. You can’t say you don’t like something if you haven’t tried it.

Have an opinion about everything.  If you don’t, you might as well be an amoeba.

In order to form an opinion, educate yourself about the issue.  In this age of the Internet, a quick shot of knowledge is seconds away; not getting it is inexcusable.

Be self-aware.

Be proud of who you are.

Year of the Dragon

Well, technically, it’s not yet the year of the Dragon, since the Chinese New Year isn’t until January 23.  This may explain why we have not yet experienced the run of good luck the auspicious Dragon is supposed to bring.

More specifically, our mini-vacation to Vancouver, BC was cut short in the middle of the night by a feverish and vomiting child.  Upon checkout from the theoretically high-end but in-reality-middling Four Seasons Vancouver, and arrival at the St. Paul’s Hospital Emergency Room, we were told to pony up nearly $800 before we could be seen.  Any talk of American health insurance was met with blank stares and advise to sort it out with the insurance company when we get back home.

Instead of being thusly extorted, we decided to make the 3-hour drive home in the middle of the night, and hope for the best.  The best failed to make an appearance.  Instead, Silly Goose kept throwing up the temperature-control medication we were giving him, so as soon as we got home, we took him to Urgent Care.  There, he again threw up all over the doctor and Husband, after which we were told to to the ER and hope that it was not pneumonia.

In the ER, we were greeted with a brand new, state of the art facility that was miraculously devoid of any other patients besides us.  It was almost surreal — as soon as we got off the elevator, a polite male nurse escorted us to a private room where a team of four people descended upon Goose like a gaggle of ravenous birds and performed a battery of diagnostic procedures within seconds.

A few hours later, we were advised that he did not have pneumonia, but rather RSV and mild dehydration.  He was given an anti-nausea medication and after verifying that he could hold down a fever-reducer and some water, we were sent home with instructions to return if vomiting persisted.

Naturally, as soon as we got home, I started feeling a little sick myself.  Within a few days, I was a sniveling, coughing mess.  Husband held out like a champ, but it looks like the thing claimed him today after all.

I was due to return to work on Tuesday, January 3rd, but feeling pretty awful and contagious, called in sick.  Resolved to spend the day in bed, recovering, I followed this prescription too ardently and threw out my back, most likely from awkwardly laying in bed while holding a laptop.

Basically, the household is in a pathetic state.  The only source of comfort is that Silly Goose is feeling much better and is currently pretending to be in a “nest” on my bed, feeling pretend worms to pretend baby chicks who just hatched from their pretend eggs.  And also I am thankful that I have the benefit of “Hitch-22” — a most engaging memoir by the late Christopher Hitchens, who is sorely missed since his untimely death two weeks ago.

Let’s see what the Dragon will bring when it finally descends.

Have You Ever….

Have you…?

 [x] 1. Started your own blog

This one, obviously.
[ ] 2. Slept under the stars
[ ] 3. Played in a band
[ ] 4. Visited Hawaii
[x] 5. Watched a meteor shower
[ ] 6. Given more than you can afford to charity
[x] 7. Been to Disneyland
[ ] 8. Climbed a mountain
[ ] 9. Held a praying mantis
[ ] 10. Sang a solo
[ ] 11. Bungee jumped
[x] 12. Visited Paris
[ ] 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
[x] 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
[ ] 15. Adopted a child
[x] 16. Had food poisoning
[ ] 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
[x] 18. Grown your own vegetables
[x] 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
[ ] 20. Slept on an overnight train
[ ] 21. Had a pillow fight
[x] 22. Hitch hiked
[x] 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
[x] 24. Built a snow fort
[ ] 25. Held a lamb
[x] 26. Gone skinny dipping
[ ] 27. Run a Marathon
[x] 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
[ ] 29. Seen a total eclipse
[x] 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
[ ] 31. Hit a home run
[x] 32. Been on a cruise

Black Sea, 1989; Encinada, Mexico, 2004
[ ] 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
[x] 34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
[ ] 35. Seen an Amish community
[x] 36. Taught yourself a new language
[ ] 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
[ ] 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
[ ] 39. Gone rock climbing
[ ] 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
[x] 41. Sung karaoke
[ ] 42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
[ ] 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
[ ] 44. Visited Africa
[x] 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
[ ] 46. Been transported in an ambulance
[x] 47. Had your portrait painted
Moscow, Arbat, circa 1985.

[ ] 48. Gone deep sea fishing
[x] 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
[ ] 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
[x] 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

Fiji!!!

 [x] 52. Kissed in the rain
[x] 53. Played in the mud
[x] 54. Gone to a drive-in theater
[ ] 55. Been in a movie
[ ] 56. Visited the Great Wall of China
[x] 57. Started a business
[ ] 58. Taken a martial arts class
[x] 59. Visited Russia
[ ] 60. Served at a soup kitchen
[ ] 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
[ ] 62. Gone whale watching
[ ] 63. Got flowers for no reason
[ ] 64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
[ ] 65. Gone sky diving
[ ] 66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
[ ] 67. Bounced a check
[ ] 68. Flown in a helicopter
[ ] 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
[ ] 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
[x] 71. Eaten Caviar
[ ] 72. Pieced a quilt
[x] 73. Stood in Times Square
[ ] 74. Toured the Everglades
[x] 75. Been fired from a job
[ ] 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
[ ] 77. Broken a bone
[x] 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
[ ] 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
[ ] 80. Published a book
[x] 81. Visited the Vatican
[x] 82. Bought a brand new car

Subaru, baby!
[ ] 83. Walked in Jerusalem
[x] 84. Had your picture in the newspaper

Santa Barbara Independent – at the Film Festival circa 2001.
[ ] 85. Read the entire Bible
[ ] 86. Visited the White House
[ ] 87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
[x] 88. Had chickenpox

1992.

 [ ] 89. Saved someone’s life
[ ] 90. Sat on a jury
[x] 91. Met someone famous

 [ ] 92. Joined a book club

 [x] 93. Lost a loved one
[x] 94. Had a baby
[ ] 95. Seen the Alamo in person
[ ] 96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
[x] 97. Been involved in a law suit

Daily.
[x] 98. Owned a cell phone
[ ] 99. Been stung by a bee
[x] 100. Read an entire book in one day

Wonder what all that says about me as a person…

The long-awaited life change.

Well, it finally happened.  After 18 consecutive months of unemployment, I got a jay-oh-bee.  A contract one, but full time,in a decent, clean office, surrounded by eminently normal people.  This seems unusual, because all of the previous law offices I have ever been to (including the ones I have worked in) had at least one person who was totally off their rocker.  It could be a file clerk who preached the word of Jesus to her co-workers and refused to take her grandchild with a fever of 103 to a doctor, instead opting for intensive prayer therapy.  Or a partner who touted himself as an employment law specialist, which didn’t stop him from literally yelling at me after I told him that I was four months pregnant and would take a maternity leave later that year.  Or a receptionist who, when she didn’t have anyone else to talk to, just talked to herself.  All day long.  I could go on.

It’s been two weeks now, and I have not observed any such behavior at my new office.  On the contrary, the most wonderful thing happened last Friday — the office manager came by my office and asked if I would like a drink. And then she brought me a vodka-cran, double, on the rocks, as part of the firm’s policy of making Friday afternoons happier for attorneys and staff. Where have these people been all my life?

Plus, needless to say, the promise of disposable income has vastly improved our quality of life.  I received the offer on September 26th; by the end of that week we had bought a brand new 2011 Subaru Forester, and enrolled the Silly Goose in the best daycare we could find.  I bought clothes for all three of us for the first time in a year from a store other than Target and without coupons.  Okay, maybe one coupon.  We went out to dinner (three times!) and tipped our waiter 100% of the check — just like Gavin has always wanted to do.  We went on a daytrip to Leavenworth, WA – a cute little German-themed tourist town about a hour east of us — which we were always too afraid to do because we didn’t think our old car would make it that far.  And while there, we bought a ridiculously overpriced bottle of Glugwein, and didn’t even think twice about it.  Long story short, it’s the little things.

Of course, having to work full time has simultaneously decreased my personal quality of life.  As of October 3, I have to wake up at 7 a.m., battle rush hour traffic to get to Pioneer Square for a full day of 7-9 billable hours, and then battle rush hour traffic again to get back home to see the Goose for 1 hour before his bedtime.  It’s like the (not so good) old days.

But on balance things are going pretty well.  Goose likes his school, and he gets to spend three entire days every week with Gavin. Gavin still hates his job, but it provides us with health insurance, and, as an additional incentive, he gets to drive the new car.

In short, we’re going to Disneyland! (No, really, we booked a trip to Orlando to visit Gavin’s mom and take the Goose to Disneyworld.)

 

Supermarket Sweep

Feels very silly to take photos of these things (so I didn’t), but today’s supermarket trip yielded the following:

4 boxes of Raisin Bran cereal (regular size)

2 boxes of Nutri-Grain bars (8-count each)

1 jar of Nutella (13 oz)

2 tubes of Crest toothpaste (6.4 oz)

2 pounds of peaches

1 pound of nectarines

Total spent: just under $10.

Not too bad, if I do say so myself.

I think that no matter how we end up doing financially in the future, I will never again pay any money for toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss, regular pasta, barbeque sauce, ketchup, mustard or nail polish.  And I certainly will never pay more than $1.50 for a box of cereal.  (Unless I get really, really lazy or too busy or rich to care.  Here’s hoping.)

 

 

One of Us

Ever since I became a mom, the experience of meeting new people has changed for me completely.  In my previous life, I would meet a new person and usually would evaluate them all alike — based on how I came to meet them, what they said to me, and what others said to me about them.  Things have definitely changed.

This afternoon, the Silly Goose and I went to Gavin’s work to pick him up.  As we were waiting, one of Gavin’s co-workers passed by and said hello.  Gavin introduced him to me by name, and we did the usual social dance of politeness.  After we exchanged the typical niceties, I was just about ready to forget the guy completely — as I normally would until I saw him again.  (In my third decade of life, it usually takes me about three times of meeting a person before I finally remember who they are.)  However, this time, as the guy walked away, Gavin said, “He has two kids, ages one and four.”

This bit of information made me do a double-take to look at the guy again, as though to re-evaluate him completely in this new light.  I found myself instantly respecting him so much more because I know what he has been through, and is going through.  I know how rough he has had it in the first three months, when the new baby was just getting used to his circadian rhythms.  The physical strain of having to rock a child to sleep constantly while not having had any sleep yourself.  The frustration of trying to feed or reason with or discipline a toddler.  The pain of leaving to go to work for the day, every day, knowing that you will miss so much of their formative experiences.  The toll it all takes on your sanity and relationships with other people, even the ones who love you the most.  And I can only imagine how incredibly hard it is to do all of that while also caring for an older kid.

It is such a cliche, but when meeting this one guy, I acutely sensed a feeling of belonging to a club of people.  Not the most exclusive of clubs, to be sure, but very distinct and with very sadistic hazing rites.  Non-members can truly never know what it’s like to be one of us.

When the Silly Goose was three months old, just after I returned to work, I had to fly to San Francisco to take a deposition. Opposing counsel was a very nice man in his forties, and during our small talk during the break, I learned that he also has a kid — a five year old.  The deposition finished well after dark, and the other attorney generously offered to give me a ride to the airport. During the ride, we talked about our kids.  As I got out of the car, he helped me with my bag, and I again thanked him profusely for the ride.  I still remember his soft tone of voice when he replied, “Don’t mention it.  From one parent to another.”

It was the first time that a real stranger had acknowledged my status as a parent.  It was a strange, new feeling of kinship. And it was pretty awesome.

During that ride, I also learned that the other attorney had Parkinson’s (sometimes he had trouble controlling his car, which prompted the disclosure.)  Maybe this knowledge colored my impressions and made them more vivid as I pictured him not being able to do the kinds of things with his son that most parents take for granted.  And the fact that he was sentenced to this grey future, and that he knew it.

It has been almost three years since that conversation.  I have no idea where he is now, what he is doing, or how his illness is progressing.  But I think that I will always remember his words: “from one parent to another.”  We were as different as could be, pitted against each other on opposite sides of the litigation, but we would always be in the same club.