My problem

January 28, 2013

This morning, as I am getting out of the shower, Silly Goose galumphs into the bathroom.

Me:  “What are you doing in here? Don’t I get any privacy around here, ever?”

Goose: “I need a tissue, mom, that’s your problem.”


Among other recent Goose-isms that I’d like to remember later, when he’s an adult:

“Granilla” = granola


troll kemote = remote control

to nuse = to use


Leg Horns

July 30, 2012

Silly Goose: (lifting up my pant leg and examining my stubbly shin): Mommy, why do you have horns on your legs?

Me: Horns?

Silly Goose: Yes (pulling on a hair), these, horns?  We need to get them out and get you a Band-Aid… (thinking) lots of Band-Aids (turning to Husband, who is cracking up in the corner)  Daddy, Mommy has lots of horns.

Me:  Honey, those are not horns, those are hairs.

Husband (trying, failing to keep a straight face): Oh, no, Goose, those are definitely horns.  Mommy’s legs are very horny.

Only about 3 hours later, after the kid was asleep in bed, did it occur to me:  Thorns!

Monday, July 9, 2012, 9:12 p.m.  Aidan’s been read his goodnight story, sang his goodnight song.  His light is still on, but it’s very, very quiet.  Assuming he’s fallen asleep, I go in to turn off the light.  Having opened the door, I see him sitting on his bed, wearing his paper crown, turning the pages of a book.  When he notices me peeking in, he looks at me and, suddenly seeming so grown up, asks “What?”  I nod silently.  He points to the picture on the open page: “It’s about a snake here.” I nod again.  He nods back and, satisfied, goes back to turning the pages, as I quietly close the door behind me.

Seems silly to be charmed by such things, but this will make me smile for days.

Be kind and respectful of others.

Cultivate passions (instead of watching TV).

Try things. You can’t say you don’t like something if you haven’t tried it.

Have an opinion about everything.  If you don’t, you might as well be an amoeba.

In order to form an opinion, educate yourself about the issue.  In this age of the Internet, a quick shot of knowledge is seconds away; not getting it is inexcusable.

Be self-aware.

Be proud of who you are.

Year of the Dragon

January 4, 2012

Well, technically, it’s not yet the year of the Dragon, since the Chinese New Year isn’t until January 23.  This may explain why we have not yet experienced the run of good luck the auspicious Dragon is supposed to bring.

More specifically, our mini-vacation to Vancouver, BC was cut short in the middle of the night by a feverish and vomiting child.  Upon checkout from the theoretically high-end but in-reality-middling Four Seasons Vancouver, and arrival at the St. Paul’s Hospital Emergency Room, we were told to pony up nearly $800 before we could be seen.  Any talk of American health insurance was met with blank stares and advise to sort it out with the insurance company when we get back home.

Instead of being thusly extorted, we decided to make the 3-hour drive home in the middle of the night, and hope for the best.  The best failed to make an appearance.  Instead, Silly Goose kept throwing up the temperature-control medication we were giving him, so as soon as we got home, we took him to Urgent Care.  There, he again threw up all over the doctor and Husband, after which we were told to to the ER and hope that it was not pneumonia.

In the ER, we were greeted with a brand new, state of the art facility that was miraculously devoid of any other patients besides us.  It was almost surreal — as soon as we got off the elevator, a polite male nurse escorted us to a private room where a team of four people descended upon Goose like a gaggle of ravenous birds and performed a battery of diagnostic procedures within seconds.

A few hours later, we were advised that he did not have pneumonia, but rather RSV and mild dehydration.  He was given an anti-nausea medication and after verifying that he could hold down a fever-reducer and some water, we were sent home with instructions to return if vomiting persisted.

Naturally, as soon as we got home, I started feeling a little sick myself.  Within a few days, I was a sniveling, coughing mess.  Husband held out like a champ, but it looks like the thing claimed him today after all.

I was due to return to work on Tuesday, January 3rd, but feeling pretty awful and contagious, called in sick.  Resolved to spend the day in bed, recovering, I followed this prescription too ardently and threw out my back, most likely from awkwardly laying in bed while holding a laptop.

Basically, the household is in a pathetic state.  The only source of comfort is that Silly Goose is feeling much better and is currently pretending to be in a “nest” on my bed, feeling pretend worms to pretend baby chicks who just hatched from their pretend eggs.  And also I am thankful that I have the benefit of “Hitch-22” — a most engaging memoir by the late Christopher Hitchens, who is sorely missed since his untimely death two weeks ago.

Let’s see what the Dragon will bring when it finally descends.

Have You Ever….

December 20, 2011

Have you…?

 [x] 1. Started your own blog
This one, obviously.
[ ] 2. Slept under the stars
[ ] 3. Played in a band
[ ] 4. Visited Hawaii
[x] 5. Watched a meteor shower
[ ] 6. Given more than you can afford to charity
[x] 7. Been to Disneyland
[ ] 8. Climbed a mountain
[ ] 9. Held a praying mantis
[ ] 10. Sang a solo
[ ] 11. Bungee jumped
[x] 12. Visited Paris
[ ] 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
[x] 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
[ ] 15. Adopted a child
[x] 16. Had food poisoning
[ ] 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
[x] 18. Grown your own vegetables
[x] 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
[ ] 20. Slept on an overnight train
[ ] 21. Had a pillow fight
[x] 22. Hitch hiked
[x] 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
[x] 24. Built a snow fort
[ ] 25. Held a lamb
[x] 26. Gone skinny dipping
[ ] 27. Run a Marathon
[x] 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
[ ] 29. Seen a total eclipse
[x] 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
[ ] 31. Hit a home run
[x] 32. Been on a cruise
Black Sea, 1989; Encinada, Mexico, 2004
[ ] 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
[x] 34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
[ ] 35. Seen an Amish community
[x] 36. Taught yourself a new language
[ ] 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
[ ] 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
[ ] 39. Gone rock climbing
[ ] 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
[x] 41. Sung karaoke
[ ] 42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
[ ] 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
[ ] 44. Visited Africa
[x] 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
[ ] 46. Been transported in an ambulance
[x] 47. Had your portrait painted
Moscow, Arbat, circa 1985.
[ ] 48. Gone deep sea fishing
[x] 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
[ ] 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
[x] 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
 [x] 52. Kissed in the rain
[x] 53. Played in the mud
[x] 54. Gone to a drive-in theater
[ ] 55. Been in a movie
[ ] 56. Visited the Great Wall of China
[x] 57. Started a business
[ ] 58. Taken a martial arts class
[x] 59. Visited Russia
[ ] 60. Served at a soup kitchen
[ ] 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
[ ] 62. Gone whale watching
[ ] 63. Got flowers for no reason
[ ] 64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
[ ] 65. Gone sky diving
[ ] 66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
[ ] 67. Bounced a check
[ ] 68. Flown in a helicopter
[ ] 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
[ ] 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
[x] 71. Eaten Caviar
[ ] 72. Pieced a quilt
[x] 73. Stood in Times Square
[ ] 74. Toured the Everglades
[x] 75. Been fired from a job
[ ] 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
[ ] 77. Broken a bone
[x] 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
[ ] 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
[ ] 80. Published a book
[x] 81. Visited the Vatican
[x] 82. Bought a brand new car
Subaru, baby!
[ ] 83. Walked in Jerusalem
[x] 84. Had your picture in the newspaper
Santa Barbara Independent – at the Film Festival circa 2001.
[ ] 85. Read the entire Bible
[ ] 86. Visited the White House
[ ] 87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
[x] 88. Had chickenpox
 [ ] 89. Saved someone’s life
[ ] 90. Sat on a jury
[x] 91. Met someone famous
 [ ] 92. Joined a book club
 [x] 93. Lost a loved one
[x] 94. Had a baby
[ ] 95. Seen the Alamo in person
[ ] 96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
[x] 97. Been involved in a law suit
[x] 98. Owned a cell phone
[ ] 99. Been stung by a bee
[x] 100. Read an entire book in one day
Wonder what all that says about me as a person…